Four Pieces of Candy for Breakfast

Suck: When the puppy did it. Now he's spaz-o-pup.

Rock: When you did it.

Kids

Suck: When they make a difficult mistake you feel more profoundly than they do.

Rock: When they make you feel that puffy-chest feeling of being proud and happy for them.

Preparation Is The Key

Suck: Sunrise, when you are not ready.

Rock: Sunrise over the ocean. Especially as watched from the beach. Or a hammock.

Cleaning House

Suck: Cell phone dropped all your stored contacts.

Rock: You just dropped off boxes at Goodwill.

Nice Hotel Rooms

Suck: Candy from the minibar is eight dollars.

Rock: Eight little bottles of ketchup are free.

What's That Smell?

Suck: Puppy just got home from the park.

Rock: Puppy just got out of the bath.

Don't Bother Playing It Again, Sam.

Suck: When someone says they would die for you. (but repeatedly causes you pain)

Rock: When someone lives for you.

Twitter

Suck: When people use it as a place to sling the mud. Please, get a room.

Rock: When people use it as a place to share neat ideas.

Where The Wild Things Are

Suck: On a dark and stormy night.

Rock: Snuggled up at night for story time.

Your Dog & Your Husband Will Both Thank You

Suck: Impulse Shopping.

Rock: Impulse Napping.

The Shoes Need To Come Off, Lady

Suck: At the airport.

Rock: At the beach.

What's That You're Eating, Kid?

Suck: Realizing chicken do not have fingers.

Rock: Knowing what a wishbone is.

Holding The Door For Strangers

Suck: When they just push through.

Rock: Because you wanted to.

Life Is Not Fair

Suck: Not getting everything you want.

Rock: Not getting everything you deserve.

Don't Stop Believin'

Suck: When a car needs a brake job.

Rock: Our trusted mechanics, who take care of us so well. And in about two hours from the time they discovered the car was left there overnight!

Naps Make Everything Better

Suck: Hectic days.

Rock: Taking naps when you get home.

Take Two

Suck: Buy One Get One half off. Yes, it sounds better than "25% off, but only if you buy two." But seriously, who are they kidding?

Rock: Buy One Get One Free!