Borrowed from Stones

Suck: You can't always get what you want.

Rock: If you try sometimes, well, you just might find, you get what you need.

My Ignorance Knows No Bounds/boundries/boundaries

Suck: I think I was spelling it 'boundries' all my life.

Rock: Spell check recognizes boundaries!

Wet Puppies

Suck: The doggie is a little stinky.

Rock: He always falls asleep, wrapped up in his towel, while you hold him after his bath.

Friends and Angels

Suck: You are gone.

Rock: You left behind a bunch of great people to hold up one another.

We're all trying our best, but you didn't make this easy, did you?